Sighing is never a habit of mine. But lately, I've been doing it a lot. Why? Listen to my predicaments for a while will you?
I am a quite tall person standing at 172.5 cm. Well, coming from a family that don't actually pass the 170 cm mark, I'd say that's quite tall. Well, OK at least. Then, I'm not exactly a thin man. I mean I'm not your average favorite skinny jambu looking guys with hair that is long and messy like just got out of bed (although I know that actually some DO just get out of bed). I am how you say it? Muscular? *LOL* In Malay, we say it as "berisi". NOT FAT. Just, "berisi". *ahem* And and and, I'm DARK SKINNED. I mean, for a Malay, I'm DARK. So, TALL, DARK, and the kicker is, I have a quite stern face. It's not like I did it on purpose, I JUST DO. God made my face like this.
OK, here's where the emo part comes in. People, mainly girls, avoid me. Ya, ya, I know, some of you reading this are saying "did not". But hey, you're my friends. You know how I am. And if you DO evade me (like that someone who blocked me even though she was the one saying "dun avoid me later"), it's either me, or yourself that have problems. I had many events in my life that proved that statement was, and is still right. The recent one being on 2nd March in the Exam Hall in MMU Melaka. I was at the GACC event. There were no place left to sit except beside this one *bleeep* girl and another in between her friend and her another friend (haha confusing, so its like, X_YZ_ with Z being this girl, and Y and X her friends). So, I decided to sit beside her. Yelah, takkan nak masuk antara kawan dia kan? And then, this girl, with all her kurang-ajar-ness, stood up, made an "OMG" face and went to sit in that other empty seat. WTF?! AM I THAT SCARY?! I was just sitting down, not even facing her. What, she thinks I'm gonna touch her everywhere? In the midst of people? Way to go *bleep* girl! I know she was pretty and all but, that was just plain RUDE. Not to mention INSULTING. What? Dark men with face like mine all are rapist, serial killers and all the bad things?
When I told my friend about this, she suggested that I smile a lot more. And that made me remember an old tragedy when I smiled and tried to help some
I always hold on to a principle that "No one can make me feel inferior to them without my consent". But, this, I don't know how to deal with these situations anymore. I mean right, they didn't make me feel inferior. Just that, made me hate some people. And to tell the truth, I almost become a racist because of this. NOTE: ALMOST become a racist. Don't worry, I don't judge people base on looks like these frickin people judge me. Chinese, Indian, Iban, Kadazan, Malays, Bajau, Javanese, Japanese-wannabe, Korean-wannabe, African, Arabs, Mixes, you're all my friends. Another NOTE: I do have friends from those races ok? Even the wannabes. Be you fat, lazy-eyed, ugly, posers, mat kereta, liars, blockers, short, too tall, loud, shy, I don't discriminate. But sadly, I was discriminated. I mean, God made me this way, so if you have any complaints, shouldn't you be complaining to Him? *haih* That's what I wanted to tell those people, those girls. But I don't want to end up killing their boyfriends (in act of self defense, of course) because they might come at me trying to teach me a lesson for their girlfriends (ayat, tak tau merendah diri langsung). Haha.
Last two day or so I heard this one radio DJ saying "i prefer tall, dark and handsome" after a line of "yala, girls always go for the fair skinned guys" by her partner. Nak je aku telefon kat DJ tu saying, "hello, miss. I'm tall, dark, but the handsome part is a little bit less la. can or not?". Hahaha.
So, if anyone reading this knows me personally, I would appreciate a feedback about how you think I am. Maybe a suggestion on how to prevent future *bleep* events?
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